Foreplay Tips and Techniques
Foreplay is a fundamental part of the whole lovemaking experience. Most men and women experienced in sex will agree that the best sexual encounters should include long and sensual foreplay. A more attentive form of foreplay will bring increased pleasure to both partners, and make any sexual experience more satisfying.
Both partners need a little extra spice to get fully aroused and achieve maximum pleasure. The man may need to prolong foreplay to get an erection and the women will usually need the same to become properly lubricated. There is no such thing as spending too much time on foreplay. The trick is to start intercourse when both partners are fully aroused and having a hard time controlling their desires from foreplay.
Foreplay includes a range of activities such as undressing, kissing, petting, and oral sex; but you can add your own thoughts to the list. Sensitive foreplay is so important to good sex because it will help both partners enjoy sexual intercourse more, and it will especially help women reach orgasm more often. Most woman need prolonged stimulation in order to reach a complete arousal, and foreplay will provide them with the required encouragement.
There is no such thing as the definitive foreplay; it is not about pressing the right buttons in the right order. It is about understanding what makes your partner tick and supplying those things that make the experience exceptionally pleasurable. There are many ways to give your partner extreme pleasure, and it all begins in the brain. Compliment their appearance or other attributes, especially if they have a low confidence level; show them that you care about them and what they enjoy.
Creating the right environment for sexual intercourse is all about paying attention to the details, which is especially important at mature stages in the relationship. For example, make sure the room is warm, the lighting subdued, and the appropriate music is playing. once the mood is right, take the time to undress each other slowly, because the act of removing your partner's clothes can be an important part of successful foreplay. Many find that undressing increases the eroticism - stimulating and intensifying the feeling.
During foreplay, go slow; begin by kissing and caressing. A kiss is usually the first physical ｅxpression of love and desire, but it is also often forgotten during sexual intercourse. During intercourse, kiss the different parts of your partner’s body, and don’t be restricted solely to the mouth. Most women complain that their partners don't kiss long enough and rush the movement directly to the genital area. Don't be shy to experiment on every part of the body (for example, many women enjoy particular kissing and nibbling attention to the neck and shoulders), and remember to prolong the foreplay with more kissing and caressing.
Another reason foreplay is important is for the learning experience. Foreplay is the perfect time to spend time understanding what your partner likes because without that, you will never understand what they really need to be fully stimulated. Don't be shy; ask for feedback and also give your own. Both partners gain from good communication during foreplay and lovemaking. If words fail you, either SHOW or GUIDE your partner in the direction you want, and encourage them to do the same.
Remember that only by communication can we understand what is required to improve, and that practice makes perfect!
◆ Back Massage Techniques
Back massages have been bringing lovers together for centuries. From India to Japan, to brothels in the Wild West, relieving the tension that inevitably builds up in our back muscles can be both soothing and arousing. There are a lot of different types of manipulations that can be used to work out knots, promote health and increase general levels of wellbeing. It is also a great way to connect with a partner and gain a serious upper hand in any tally of good deeds with your lover.
Like a bull in a china shop, most of us wade into back massages without any idea of what is at stake. A good massage, as opposed to some pinching, prodding or poking rendition, can make that special someone turn to mush. Here at sexinfo101 we are going to give you the tips that are going make you look and feel like a cheap hooker with a PhD in pleasure. So take out your notebook, your red pencil and prepare to get the goods.
Effects
If you need some encouragement to either give or ask for a massage, then look no further. Although offering a single massage is a good pick-up technique, the effects of regular massages are cumulative, and incorporating massage into your monthly patterns (be it professional or relational) will give the greatest benefit. Regular massage can have the effect of strengthening and toning the entire body mechanism, and so help to prevent unnecessary strains and injuries that might otherwise occur due to excess tension and any resulting structural weaknesses. Massage can stimulate or calm the nervous system and thus help reduce fatigue, leaving the receiver with a feeling of replenished energy. At its best, massage has the potential to restore the individual - physically and mentally.
Common Types
Since we are trying to prepare you to deliver Navy-Seals-type massages, the best place to start is by figuring out what kind of massage to give. The following are descriptions of four common styles of massages with four specific expected outcomes. once you figure out which style fits the profile, then you can decide which of our suggested techniques to apply.
Swedish Massage
Swedish massage therapists use five basic strokes, which anyone can learn and use on themselves and others. They are effleurage (stroking); petrissage (muscles are lightly grabbed and lifted); friction (thumbs and fingertips work in deep circles into the thickest part of muscles); tapotement (chopping, beating, and tapping strokes); and vibration (fingers are pressed or flattened firmly on a muscle, then the area is shaken rapidly for a few seconds).
Deep Tissue Massage
Deep tissue massage targets chronic tension in muscles that lie far below the surface of your body. You have five layers of muscle in your back (for instance), and while Swedish massage may help the first couple of layers, it won't do much directly for the muscle underneath. Deep muscle techniques usually involve slow strokes, direct pressure or friction movements that go across the grain of the muscles. Massage therapists will use their fingers, thumbs or occasionally even elbows to apply the needed pressure.
Sports Massage
Sports massage is designed to help you train better, whether you're a world champion or a weekend warrior. The techniques are similar to those in Swedish and deep tissue massage, but has been adapted to meet the athlete's special needs. Focus on the lower back and shoulders. Using heat and petrissage can promote injury reduction and prevention.
Neuromuscular Massage
Neuromuscular Massage is a form of deep tissue massage that is applied to individual muscles. It is used to increase blood flow, reduce pain and release pressure on nerves caused by injuries to muscles and other soft tissue. Neuromuscular massage helps release trigger points; intense knots of stressed muscle can also "refer" pain to other parts of the body. Relieving a tense trigger point in your back, for example, could help ease pain in your shoulder or reduce headaches.
Now the Secrets!
When you are starting your massage, remember that the back muscles are usually massaged in three groups. A successful back rub will cover all three groups.
1. The long muscles that run parallel to the spine.
2. The flat muscle groups that cover the top of the back and lower neck.
3. The wide band of muscles that stretches from the spine to the side of the back.
Begin the back rub with a simple circulation (sweeping motion) that touches all three areas in a simple, continuous stroke. You needn't press hard during this stroke.
Circulation stroke – Clocking in…
Begin with your hands flat and your fingers facing up from the base of the spine. Slide your hands along the spine, up towards the head. When you reach the neck, turn your hands so that your fingers massage along the top of the shoulders and then down the outer sides of the back. When you come back down the outer sides of the back, turn your hands back to the original position. If this confusing, think of it this way: if your back is a butterfly and your spine is the body, trace the spine with both hands. At the base of the neck, separate your hands and trace the wings, bringing you back to the base of the body. Repeat this circulation movement about ten times.
Pressing the Back
Pressing the back is the most dramatic massage stroke available. Since massage is about muscle tissue, and not back-cracking or other chiropractic issues, make sure that you keep that in mind during the back press. Keeping this in mind, the first step to this stroke is finding the mounds of muscle that run along side the spinal column. Massage is the manipulation of muscle tissue. These ridges are where you should concentrate your attention.
When pressing up the back, start at the base of the spine (even as low as the upper buttock). Apply pressure with the heel of each hand. Slide your hands along the ridges of muscle from the very base of the spine until you reach the shoulder blades.
In contrast to the circulation stroke, don't bring your hands back along the far outside of the back. In this stroke bring your hands back just off the original line, like mowing your lawn. You will know when you are doing this stroke properly. Your partner will moan with delight. At least ten strokes are appropriate here.
Variations: Small circles as you glide up the spine, use your thumbs in place of the heel of your hand; scratch their back as you return to the base of the spine. Use your own imagination.
Finger Kneading Along the Spine
Use your fingertips to knead the two strands of long muscles that run just outboard of the spine. The muscles work very hard keeping you upright, and are sometimes the only support our (increasingly) soft middles have. Envision yourself kneading at every vertebra. Two or more trips up and down the spine are great.
Back Compression
This stroke is another one that attacks the muscles beside the spine. Put the heel of your hand on those same long muscles that run down your back. Push downward. Release the pressure and then move slightly up the spine. Make three or so passes up the spine. This stroke can also be done hands together, first on the right side, then both hands together on the left side of the spine.
Kneading the Bread
Knead the muscle of the upper and lower back. Pressing on bone won't have any effect on your partner. Try to find the tissue of the muscles and work that area. The effect is worth the effort.
The Pinch
Use the thumbs of each hand to press folds of flesh and muscle together. The hands move slightly in opposite directions to scissor the flesh between the two thumbs. Moving your thumbs in small circles during this stroke is a nice addition.
Shoulder Massaging
With one hand, lift up on your partners shoulder. You will only need to lift it about an inch. You can accomplish this by just sliding your hand underneath their shoulder. With your other hand find the muscle tissue that runs across the upper back. Kneading the muscle tissue that is just in from the edge of the shoulder blade is fantastic. The picture tries to demonstrate exactly the location.
It is a difficult stroke to get right, but your partner will tell you when you have hit the spot. If you don't understand, have your partner try it on you. If they find the spot, you will know exactly why this is my personal favorite.
Knead the Neck
The muscles that run behind the neck form a sort of diamond pattern. The muscles that run up the neck are thick and respond well to kneading with the thumbs. The muscles that run downward to the spine are thinner and can be kneaded with the heel of the hand. Alternating between using your thumbs and the heel of your hand, will make you look a real pro and keep the massage from becoming an uncomfortable experience.
Spend some time on this area with small movements that run up the back of the neck. Try not to pull on your partner’s hair.
Curling and Kneading the Shoulders
Depending on if your partner has thin or thick shoulders you should be either delicate or firm. Work slowly and feel the muscle tissue around the bones of the shoulders and necks. Curl your fingers over the ridge of the shoulder. Feel the muscle tissue. Press the heel of your hand into the back of the tissue while your fingers manipulate it from the front.
Warming the Back – Hot Hands Harry
At this stage you might want to finish the massage or you may wish to transition to the front of the body. Here is a movement that will accomplish this smoothly. Breathe on your hands to moisten them slightly. Take your hands and vigorously rub them together until they get hot. Do this a number of times placing your hot hands progressively lower down the back. This motion is relaxing and awakening. Your partner should have no trouble turning over in the anticipation that more delights follow.
A Nice End…
To end the massage you might want to finish with brushing. You can do this by lightly touching the ends of your fingertips all over the areas that you have just massaged. Since those areas will be freshly vitalized these muscles will respond with an intensely sensual experience.
◆ Foot Massage Techniques
There are those who would argue that there are more important types of massage to undergo. Our backs hurt, our heads are sore and our neck is always creaking, but those in the know understand that all our body’s idiosyncratic pains and aches originate from our feet. Our feet are the foundation that our musculature and bones structure sits on, and engage with the world through. A Ferrari won’t run with flat tires, so won’t your body when you have tired and sore feet.
Physiologically, feet are the foundation for proper knee alignment, hip and lower back placement. Most doctors prescribe orthotics for your shoes when your back or hips are feeling out of sorts. And since your feet are so important, keeping them happy can lead to a greater sense of well-being in your whole body. And since the tendons, ligaments and muscles are worked so constantly over years and years of serious usage, massaging your ‘dogs’ can actually help keep them strong for more years to come.
On the other hand, foot massages can also be one of the most pleasurable types of body work. More than any other part of your body, your feet connect to a myriad of pleasure centers and are, according to acupuncturists, connected to multiple, seemingly unrelated, aspects of your health.
So break out the foot-cream. Find yourself a generous lover/partner/friend, or even by yourself, and tend to those poor feet. They do so much for you, do something back and show them that you care.
Circulation
Since our feet take such a beating in everyday life, the first thing to do is get the blood flowing to them. Blood brings our muscles all the nutrients that they need, so helping our feet’s circulation is key to their recovery. Thus the first stroke in a good foot massage is called a circulation stroke. The name implies that it increase blood flow in the tissues of the foot.
Grasp the foot with one hand and stroke the top with the other. You can use light pressure along the top of the foot. Moderate pressure might be required on the bottom of the foot to prevent tickling your partner. Continue rubbing and stroking your partners entire foot. Twenty times on the top and ten times on the bottom is suggested.
Rotation of the Foot
Don’t forget about those ankles. They take as much of a beating as your feet and are interconnected. So the next two techniques are going to deal specifically with the ankle and its relationship with the foot. This rotation is not a stretch; it is just a movement to relax the foot and ankle.
Support the foot with one hand as shown. With the other hand, gently move the foot through its natural range of motion. Simply and slowly glide the foot in an oval-type motion. As you slowly rotate the foot, you may find the range of motion increases slightly. Important to note is that there is bone and cartilage in the ankle joint, so only move the ankle as far as it permits, stop if your hear any grinding or crackling. Rotate the foot 3-5 times in each direction.
Stroking the Foot and Ankle
This stroke seems to relax the whole body. Start with your fingertips right where the toes meet he foot. Use both hands to press down between the bones of the foot. Slide your up the foot toward the ankle; when your fingers reach ankle level, wrap your fingers around the ankle and massage the front of the ankle joint with your thumbs.
We generally look for muscle tissue to rub when giving a massage. This area is firm with bone, tendons and ligaments. Try to do your best to treat the muscle tissue you find with thorough kneading.
Flexing and rotating the bones of the foot
This stroke feels really nice when the top of the foot is sore from standing or walking. Press the heel of each hand on the outer edges of the foot. You will be curling the top of the foot. When you curl the foot you will be able to massage the muscle between the bones with your thumbs. While curling the foot you will also that pressing your fingertips into the underside of the foot, will be greeted with oo's and ahh's.
Pulling of the Toes
This can feel good, but be careful. Don’t try and pull the toes too hard. Gently pulling the toes out can free up range and give them a sense of mobility and rejuvenation. Try this in conjunction with a foot bath, since warming the toes can make pulling them more enjoyable and easier. Remember, the point of pulling the toes is not to hear them pop. Simply pulling them will be good enough, but if they pop don’t worry - just don’t force them to.
‘Soul’ Work
The most muscular part of your foot is the bottom, which has pads to protect the bones. When you are working on yourself, this is easiest with your foot propped on the opposite knee, with a towel underneath to protect your clothing from cream. If working on a partner, place their foot either on your knee or prop it on a chair with some pillows under it.
Using your thumbs, make circular motions that cover the entire surface of the bottom of your foot, moving from the base of your toes toward your heel. Keep the pressure of the circles steady and even. Use a bit more firmness on your heels; the skin here is tougher.
Once you have gone over the entire foot give a few extra strokes to any area where you experience chronic pain - the ball of your foot, or the arch, or perhaps around your ankles. one way to relieve cramping in the arch is to hold gentle pressure with one hand, and stretch your foot with the other, but not to the point of pain, just to muscle resistance. Make sure that you don’t hurt yourself or your lover. This part of the foot can be sensitive and digging in too aggressively can hurt, and this is supposed to be relaxing!
Bath ‘em and Polish ‘em
At your local health food store you will inevitably be able to find salts and bath oils specifically designed for bathing one’s feet. The heat from the water can loosen muscles and the salts can soothe the skin and their smell can relax the mind. Let them sit until they prune, that way you know that your skin and muscles have been saturated in the warmth. Doing this regularly can increase the vitality of the tendons and integral portions of the foot.
Filing is something that people don’t do often enough. This can be done in conjunction with a bath, since the skin is softer and more malleable. Use a large pumice stone to remove the build up of calloused skin, and dirt which can get ingrained in the skin. This is not just an aesthetic exercise. By reducing calluses you can even out your gait and prevent cracking, which is especially important during the summer when we tend to go about barefoot and in sandals more often. Socks help keep our feet moisturized, but callous buildup prevents moisture from getting to our skin.
Take care of your feet, and they will take care of you.
◆ Kissing Techniques
Kissing is a delicate art and must be taken slowly with a new partner. A good kisser knows how to pace themselves, has an active imagination, and understands what their partner likes or may not expect, but will enjoy. When kissing, remember the following: never slobber, don't stare, try not to belch, always pay attention with your non-visual senses (touch, hearing, ESP, etc.), and there is no such thing as too slow.
If you are unhappy with a kiss then chances are your partner is going to feel the same way. The best thing you can do is relax, and not just in your body, but your face, lips, neck, everywhere. Be relaxed and confident with how you kiss. Let yourself go with the flow of the moment and savour every second of it. While you are kissing, remember to use your hands, nose, and breath to entice your partner's senses. Everyone enjoys being touched anbd caressed while being kissed. Use your hands to gently caress the cheek, the jawbone, the back, arms, and collarbone. A gentle exhalation of air, that does not smell foul, can provide your partner with extremely light, warm feelings on their face, mouth, and neck that can be quite arousing.
Never "attack" someone when you kiss them, unless they like that sort of thing, and most people don't. Treat their lips like you would a dangerous creature. Move in slow and prepare for the kiss. Initial contact should be lips only, firm, yet gentle. React to how your partner is kissing. If they speed up, speed up with them. If they slow down, follow suit. Try to synchronize your actions with one another and always pay attention to their body language.
The following is a list of some simple techniques to spice up a kiss:
Triumverat
Kiss between the eyes, on the tip of the nose, and then on the lips.
Top and Bottom
Kiss the top lip, then the bottom lip, then both.
Lickable Lips
Run the tip of your tongue along your partner's lips.
Earlobecstacy
Gently kiss, nibble, and suck on the earlobe.
Facial Lines
Trace the neck and jawbone with your lips and tongue.
The Big Tease
Kiss everywhere but the lips, until your partner pulls you to their lips.
Caressed Lips
Rub your finger gently across their lips and then go in for a kiss.
Sensuality
Look in their eyes and whisper you want to kiss them. Press your lips gently to theirs', caress their lips with yours and then give her/him a passionate kiss.
Cheeky
Gently brush cheeks with your partner.
Eskimo Kiss
Gently rub the tips of your noses together.
Butterfly
Brush eyelashes with your partner. Make a fluttering motion of the eyelash by quickly opening and closing the eye.
Rose Petals
Make a small "O" with your lips. Press your lips against your partner's skin and suck softly. Lift your lips off a little, move over slightly, and repeat.
Hostage Kiss
Cover your lips with tape and get your partner's attention. When they come near, make noises like you're trying to tell them something and motion as if you can't get the tape off. once they remove the tape from you to hear what you're trying to say, tell them, "I've been saving my lips all day just for you!" Then kiss them passionately.
Strawberry Secret
Place a strawberry in your mouth without your partner knowing. Crush the strawberry in your mouth and feed some to your partner while you kiss.
Cold as Ice
Put a piece of ice in your mouth without your partner knowing. Kiss them on the neck and let the ice softly touch their skin.
Back Kisses
Snuggle up behind your partner and proceed to cover their back with little kisses.
Foot Kisses
When your lover comes home from work, or wherever, wash their feet and give them a massage. While you're giving them the massage, lean over and give little kisses on their feet.
Hershey's Kiss
Try not to kiss your partner all day. Throughout the day leave Hershey's kisses or some sort of romantic candy in places that they will know it's for them. Later in the day start leaving notes with poetry or quotes on kissing for them. After that, leave a love letter describing how you'd like to kiss them and the satisfaction that it would bring you. once you feel they've had enough teasing, spend sometime rewarding them with lots of kissing! This is rewarding for yourself as well, since you've been thinking about kissing them all day too.
Red Light Kiss
When in the car with your partner, every time you stop at a red light, lean over and kiss them until the light goes green.
Recorded Kiss
Record the sound of yourself blowing a kiss. Then either e-mail it to your partner or leave a note somewhere with instructions to press play.
Video Kiss
Record on a videotape or web cam yourself blowing kisses to your partner and tell them how much you miss them.
E-mail Kiss
Draw or animate a pair of lips kissing. Then send it to your sweetheart.
The Lost Kiss
Look around your partner, looking under things and appearing like you're searching for something. When asked what you're looking for, say "I've been looking for a kiss all day but I can't find one anywhere. Oh wait, I found it." Then give your partner a kiss.
Wake Up Kiss
Before your partner awakes, lean over and kiss their cheek. Then give soft kisses across their cheek until you reach their lips.
Make Up Kisses
At the end of the day, sit down with your partner and ask them how his/her day went. Silently keep track of all the bad things that happened during the day. When he/she is finished, give them a kiss for each one. When asked what you are doing, say you are helping make up for all those bad things.
Post-It Kiss
Make a post-it note trail that leads to your lips. on each note leave a lipstick kiss and an arrow or clue to find the next note. Place the last note over or near your lips.
Full Body Meltdown
While your partner is laying down, slip over to them and start running your tongue, very gently, up their leg, arms, reaching their lips give them a full passionate kiss.
The Grandious Tease
Softly run your fingers across your partner's lips, lure them in to kissing you, but before you kiss, pull away and then go in for the kiss, then pull away again, etc., etc.
◆ Head Massage Techniques
Do you know how many facial ｅxpression we make in a given day?! Well we don’t know the exact number either, but we guarantee that it is large. It is probably larger than you may even care to consider. This being the case; throw into the mix an ever-present host of stresses and bad emotions, and our facial muscles are a wreck. From our jaw to our scalp, most of us have no idea the beating our heads take in this day to day struggle.
We have broken this article up into two a series of massages techniques that can be used on the face and scalp. Although any one of the techniques can be a great way to pleasure your partner, we highly recommend that you experiment with those that you like so that you can learn how to move smoothly from one to another.
Before we get into it, there are some tips that we can’t stress enough:
- Wash your hands, its amazing how much dirt and germs they can pick up
- Make sure you don’t have sharp fingernails that may reduce the pleasure
- Make sure to be gentle on facial skin, you don’t want to stretch it
- Make sure to use face massage oil for deeper facial massages (refer to tip number 2)
- Too little oil is always better then too much… you can always add a little more.
- Have open feedback with your partner so that you can learn their preferences
- Unless it is required, do not rest your hands on your partner’s head while giving.
- Success comes with practice, so relax and learn.
Now that we’ve covered the warnings, let’s get into it. There are many positions to get into so that you can perform head massages, but we recommend that you follow the lead on the experts on this one, we did. To perform the massages, you’ll want to be at the head of your laying partner who is either face up or down depending on what you want to do.
Petting the Kitty
With your partner laying face up, and you square to them, you want to perform a series of pets that start right between the eyebrows and with next to no pressure, pull upwards towards the scalp. Your hands should be alternating, ideally in a fashion where your partner can’t tell where one hand is beginning and another is ending. That being said, you don’t want to keep doing it exactly the same on every single stroke, feel free to mix up the tempo.
Stroking the Brows
With your thumbs starting just inside of each eyebrow right above the edge of their eye socket, with only slight pressure, pull each thumb across the brow and outward to the scalp. The stroke should end when you get to the scalp.
Ladder to Heaven
Similar to the previous technique, the only difference here is that you repeat the technique along the lines of the forehead until you get to their natural hairline before repeating.
Relaxing the Jaw
Place your hands on either side of your partner’s face, and with either your thumb or your three middle fingers, using medium light circles, move up and down between the corner of their jaw and the bottom of the ear lobe. You can mix it up by changing the size of the circles, the direction of the circles, by making the circles figure eights, and by changing the pressure.
Scissor Hands
Put your hands in a “knife hand” position, and spread it only between the ringer and middle fingers. Position your hands on the side of your partner’s head, and slide them up and down in line with their ears. on the down stroke, you want to make sure to leave at least 1 inch between the open webbing of your scissors and the top of their ears; you don’t want to tug at them. When you first start, keep both strokes gentle, but once you get the hang of it, try to be gentle on the down stroke and apply a little more pressure on the upstroke.
Praise the Temple
Couple your middle and index fingers on each hand, and place them on your partner’s temples. Using slow circles and medium light pressure, repeat a few times on the temple getting larger each time, then pull lightly towards the scalp, then repeat.
Rubbing the Lobes
Using your index fingers and your thumbs, gently squeeze on the edge of your partner’s ears with a circular motion. Travel up and down the ear lobe, making sure to watch out for shrapnel (earings).
Kneading the Dome
Using as many finger tips as you have and light to medium pressure, explore their scalp. You can perform small circles, large circles, or just back and forth motions, either way your partner is going to enjoy it. You will want to pay some special attention to the back of the skull, but make sure to spread the love out. As usual, diversity will help keep things from getting stale, so make sure to change it up.
Scratching Post
We’ve heard that some people do not like this one, but those who do like it tend to like it a lot, so we are mentioning it despite the fact! Using your nails, very gently, scratch your partner’s head. Starting above the neck, slowly and gently explore your partner’s head.
Relaxing the Base
Using your thumb and index finger of your dominant hand, grip the back of your partner’s neck and massage it using small circles along the skull line. Experiment with different sized circles as well as a technique similar to “stroking the brows” in the same area. Massaging this area can be performed using both hands, but most people find it difficult to apply the right amount of pressure that way. Consequently, we recommend using one hand to get started, then adding in the second hand when you are ready to move onto something like “kneading the dome.”
◆ Erotic Massage Basics
Getting prepared
A massage should be a pleasant, sensual experience and there many things that can be done to ensure that it is so.
Getting Started
Your goal in a massage is to put your partner in a state of relaxation; if you are scared or worried, it is very easy to read from your body language.
Start slowly, be sensitive to your partner’s response and adapt your technique accordingly; while great massages are not the easiest to give, it is also difficult to give a bad one if you keep this rule in mind. Rub some massage oil or cream in your hands to get it warm, and then go to work.
The whole concept of massage is built around being touched, so try to keep constant contact with your partner. As you explore their body, try to do it in a continuous way to help keep your flow going, as well as to increase the intimacy level. If you are learning for the first time, or learning to please a new partner, don't forget to communicate. You don't necessarily have to ask if every motion you try feels good, but don't be afraid to ask if they want something harder or softer, and make sure to listen to your partner's breathing, it is an excellent indication of how you are doing. Try to keep your movements rhythmic, even, and symmetric when starting out. This will allow your partner to understand what is going on, and relax even more. As you get more experience, you will learn tricks and combo moves to improve your abilities.
Where should you start the massage? Well, there is no one place to begin. Virtually every part of the body (at least the areas that you are allowed to touch) is fair game. Some spots are better then others, and those are usually the ones that allow you to traverse your partners whole body continuously, but there is nothing wrong with hitting the best areas more than once (refer to erogenous zones in the pleasing women and men sections) as long as you don’t dwell too intensely on more sensitive areas.
Starting with the feet and moving up is one way to go about it … another is starting at the head and working your way down. We want to reiterate, there is no one way of doing massage, so start wherever you are comfortable ... just keep experimenting. A suggestion for first timers would be to start at the soldiers, then go to the neck, scalp, run your fingers down to his or her shoulders, arms, upper back, lower back, buttocks, thighs, calves, and then feet; then flip him or her over and work back up. Some areas are better massaged softly, others are better if they are massaged deeper, so start trying! As you gain experience, the whole process will become second nature.
How to use your hands
Again, there is no right or wrong way! We have found that using your finger tips softly in softer and more sensitive areas, and using your full hand, especially your thumbs, works wonders on large, commonly sore, muscle areas like the outer thighs and shoulders. If you are ever unsure, start softly and progressively massage deeper carefully monitoring your partner's breathing. It won't take long until your partner thinks you are a professional.
Some people enjoy being scratched (lightly is recommended), others enjoy being licked, some prefer little circular movements, others enjoy hard deep massages, and yet others want them all. Besides giving ideas, we are unable to give you a road map to your partner's body, as every person is different and enjoys different stimulation. This article will be extended in the near future to include some "hitting strokes", and don't forget to check the pleasing men and women sections to find ways to please each area of your partner's body.
The best advice that we can give you is this … "know your partners body". It is the people who know their partner's bodies the best, who are usually remembered to be the best lovers!
◆ Masturbate Together
Masturbation does not have to just be a solo sexual activity, it can also be a means of sharing pleasure with your partner. Many people enjoy watching their partner masturbate, and gain pleasure in return from performing this activity for their partner. It can be a thrilling way to start the night, or something you can both do while pleasuring each other.
Masturbation also allows partners with different sex drives to feel satisfied within the relationship. You or your partner can masturbate separately or with each other to relieve sexual tension and attain sexual fulfillment when the other is unable/unwilling to engage in intercourse or sexual play.
Another benefit of masturbating together is showing your partner what you l ike. Most people who masturbate don't have trouble getting themsleves to climax, and it never hurts for a sexual partner to see some other techniques for pleasuring the other.
Unfortunately, many individuals have trouble masturbating in front of their partner. They believe masturbation is a solo or secretive act, which they feel embarrassed to share with others. You should never pressure someone to perform something they do not want to do. If you would like to have your partner masturbate for you, you can bring up the subject, but not press if they would prefer not to.
The best way you can aid your partner is to actively satisfy yourself and not always expect them to satisfy your sexual needs.
Related Reading:
Fingering Techniques: for information on specific techniques for women
Hand Job Techniques: for information on specific techniques for men.
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