YOUR PERSONAL SLOW SEX PRACTICE

YOUR PERSONAL SLOW SEX PRACTICE 

Slow sex is a journey in which today counts, and each and every day counts. It’s a slow journey that can extend over many years and into old age. Or so it is happening for me, and I can definitely say that I did not plan for it to be this way. Very slowly, one thing has led to another through curiosity and practice. Practice brings about change and transformation much more effectively than just thinking about doing something. Below, slow sex is defined as an actual practice. I have synthesized information from the previous chapters (and cross-referenced it) to explain how to get started in your own personal practice. You can change the guidelines at any time. Feel free to trust your intuition and improvise! The vital thing is to take it slow, without having great expectations or waiting for a grand display of inner fireworks. Expectations stand in our way of perceiving what actually is; they make us consider what is not happening, rather than what is happening. Changes are likely to be subtle and gradual, but not necessarily. Great changes can also accompany one single vital insight gained while practicing slow sex. In general, it is a bit like going back to the beginning, being prepared to be an infant again, feeling wobbly and finding a way to walk on two legs, not knowing what’s coming next. The Benefits of a Slow Sex Practice There are many positive outcomes to the practice of slow sex.

First and foremost, you become more loving as a human being. Within you lies a deep sense of contentment, of having arrived home, and of self-love. Through the inner connection to yourself the intimacy with the other is deepened. There is more harmony and understanding within the relationship, less fighting and controversy between egos, and therefore, fewer emotional ups and downs that disturb love. Life seems lighter and much brighter. The sense of well-being deepens. Joy and enjoyment accompany each day. Embracing sex in a conscious, slow way is truly transforming and gives rise to deep insights, inspiration, and creativity. When sexual (life) energy is in nature’s flow, living gets easier, the outlook is optimistic and positive. Reducing the pressure and tension in sex (especially the habit of forcing the body to a climax) boosts the immune system and enhances general health, an effect that becomes more apparent over time. The love and awareness generated between two people overflows onto their children and their life as a family unit. The rapport improves and children become more easygoing and self-contained. This relaxation happens because they can sense immediately (and they definitely can, from their earliest moments on Earth) the reassuring fragrance of love in the air. Essentially, when a couple decides to be more conscious and slow in sex they are doing peace work at home, and what they create radiates outward into the world, not only to the immediate family, but also to all those with whom they associate. A couple has the innate power to become tremendous generators of spiritual and positive loving energy in their community.

WHAT KIND OF PRACTICE IS SLOW SEX?

Slow sex can best be described and approached as a loving spiritual practice in which awareness rests in the body and the genitals. We gradually discover how to be present in sex, rather than actively doing sex.

When we have sex with sensitivity and slowness, sex transforms itself into a spiritual practice that creates love and deepens the experience of the present moment. Any spiritual practice needs to be given time and space in order to feel the benefits. At the same time, even after the first few times you try a more conscious sexual approach, you are quite likely to feel some fulfilling “results,” and often in unexpected ways. You may suddenly notice you feel more connected to your partner, more in love (with your partner and yourself), or you feel uplifted and joyful, open, relaxed, and more alive to your senses. In slow sex practice the attention is rooted in the body generally, and especially in the genital connection—the penis and vagina. Slow sex makes it possible for them to develop their very own language, to exchange energy according to their intrinsic dynamic and receptive qualities. It’s a practice that takes time to get the hang of and master, as with any other spiritual practice, or most practices in general. Just as when mastering a musical instrument or a sport, practice and repetition in slow sex lay the foundation for more sustaining and fulfilling experiences. In certain practices there may be ideals or goals of perfection to be reached, but in slow sex, there are no goals. We immerse ourselves in our bodies and become involved with the unfolding present moment. We see what our bodies want to do, and we watch how they respond intuitively with their own sensual language. We do not interfere and come between the bodies with our minds and preconceived ideas. At the end of the day, it is ultimately the capacity to turn inward that plants in us the roots of our blissful experiences. Bliss and ecstasy do not arrive on demand, but will arise when we give up all mental goals or expectations and relax into a profound acceptance of the body and its inner polarity design. Using the body as a stepping-stone, we can experience the timelessness of the present moment, in which all boundaries evaporate and everything rests in pure peace and harmony. A Shift in Consciousness, Not a Special Technique Slow sex is definitely not some kind of special technique, as in a-b-c leads to x-y-z. It is not something that you do, but rather something that you become. You enter yourself so as to meet your own body from the First and foremost, you become more loving as a human being. Within you lies a deep sense of contentment, of having arrived home, and of self-love. Through the inner connection to yourself the intimacy with the other is deepened. There is more harmony and understanding within the relationship, less fighting and controversy between egos, and therefore, fewer emotional ups and downs that disturb love. Life seems lighter and much brighter. The sense of well-being deepens. Joy and enjoyment accompany each day. Embracing sex in a conscious, slow way is truly transforming and gives rise to deep insights, inspiration, and creativity. When sexual (life) energy is in nature’s flow, living gets easier, the outlook is optimistic and positive. Reducing the pressure and tension in sex (especially the habit of forcing the body to a climax) boosts the immune system and enhances general health, an effect that becomes more apparent over time. The love and awareness generated between two people overflows onto their children and their life as a family unit. The rapport improves and children become more easygoing and self-contained. This relaxation happens because they can sense immediately (and they definitely can, from their earliest moments on Earth) the reassuring fragrance of love in the air. Essentially, when a couple decides to be more conscious and slow in sex they are doing peace work at home, and what they create radiates outward into the world, not only to the immediate family, but also to all those with whom they associate. A couple has the innate power to become tremendous generators of spiritual and positive loving energy in their community. WHAT KIND OF PRACTICE IS SLOW SEX? Slow sex can best be described and approached as a loving spiritual practice in which awareness rests in the body and the genitals. We gradually discover how to be present in sex, rather than actively doing sex.

When we have sex with sensitivity and slowness, sex transforms itself into a spiritual practice that creates love and deepens the experience of the present moment. Any spiritual practice needs to be given time and space in order to feel the benefits. At the same time, even after the first few times you try a more conscious sexual approach, you are quite likely to feel some fulfilling “results,” and often in unexpected ways. You may suddenly notice you feel more connected to your partner, more in love (with your partner and yourself), or you feel uplifted and joyful, open, relaxed, and more alive to your senses. In slow sex practice the attention is rooted in the body generally, and especially in the genital connection—the penis and vagina. Slow sex makes it possible for them to develop their very own language, to exchange energy according to their intrinsic dynamic and receptive qualities. It’s a practice that takes time to get the hang of and master, as with any other spiritual practice, or most practices in general. Just as when mastering a musical instrument or a sport, practice and repetition in slow sex lay the foundation for more sustaining and fulfilling experiences. In certain practices there may be ideals or goals of perfection to be reached, but in slow sex, there are no goals. We immerse ourselves in our bodies and become involved with the unfolding present moment. We see what our bodies want to do, and we watch how they respond intuitively with their own sensual language. We do not interfere and come between the bodies with our minds and preconceived ideas. At the end of the day, it is ultimately the capacity to turn inward that plants in us the roots of our blissful experiences. Bliss and ecstasy do not arrive on demand, but will arise when we give up all mental goals or expectations and relax into a profound acceptance of the body and its inner polarity design. Using the body as a stepping-stone, we can experience the timelessness of the present moment, in which all boundaries evaporate and everything rests in pure peace and harmony. A Shift in Consciousness, Not a Special Technique Slow sex is definitely not some kind of special technique, as in a-b-c leads to x-y-z. It is not something that you do, but rather something that you become. You enter yourself so as to meet your own body from the inside. Slowing down in sex is based on a shift in consciousness, where the emphasis is on how you do something, not what you do. To become slow in sex requires a mental reorientation, a new way of looking at it. You’ll first want to understand the why and the value of trying something new in order to drop or transform the ideas and expectations commonly associated with sex. Even with good intentions and a fresh orientation, the very first few times you meet you may feel at a bit of a loss as to how to begin. Perhaps you’ll even feel a bit confused. This is what happened to me at the outset. I also realized how strange it was that I felt very comfortable with sex when I had a specific and known routine, but as soon as any unknown element entered the picture, I got shaky and unsure of myself. I didn’t know who I was, really. When I was relatively unconscious I felt secure, but upon being asked to be a bit more conscious, I felt insecure and thrown into doubt. In reality, feeling confused or insecure is a very natural human response to many situations, so there is absolutely nothing wrong or unusual with any initial hesitation, shyness, or awkwardness. As much as we live in a society in which sex is very evident in advertising, media, and the like, when it comes down to the reality of this very moment and divesting ourselves of our protection (clothing, the masks of the personality), there can be challenges. You may also feel shy or exposed. But these are not such big hurdles that you need to hold yourself back or prevent yourself from being interested in exploring your higher potential. Confusion and lack of confidence make one feel more vulnerable, open, and present, so any feelings of awkwardness also have positive value. And when feelings are admitted and communicated to the other person in simple words, such as “I feel lost as though I don’t know anything anymore,” as if giving an inner weather report, then you will immediately feel more relaxed, at ease, and lighthearted. You are being more honest, more authentic, more human. You begin to trust yourself. You will find some more specific suggestions on how to begin later in this chapter. Slow Sex Is Most Suitable for Long-term Committed Relationships Our Creator designed human beings for slow sex, so in this sense slow sex is suitable and appropriate for

When we have sex with sensitivity and slowness, sex transforms itself into a spiritual practice that creates love and deepens the experience of the present moment. Any spiritual practice needs to be given time and space in order to feel the benefits. At the same time, even after the first few times you try a more conscious sexual approach, you are quite likely to feel some fulfilling “results,” and often in unexpected ways. You may suddenly notice you feel more connected to your partner, more in love (with your partner and yourself), or you feel uplifted and joyful, open, relaxed, and more alive to your senses. In slow sex practice the attention is rooted in the body generally, and especially in the genital connection—the penis and vagina. Slow sex makes it possible for them to develop their very own language, to exchange energy according to their intrinsic dynamic and receptive qualities. It’s a practice that takes time to get the hang of and master, as with any other spiritual practice, or most practices in general. Just as when mastering a musical instrument or a sport, practice and repetition in slow sex lay the foundation for more sustaining and fulfilling experiences. In certain practices there may be ideals or goals of perfection to be reached, but in slow sex, there are no goals. We immerse ourselves in our bodies and become involved with the unfolding present moment. We see what our bodies want to do, and we watch how they respond intuitively with their own sensual language. We do not interfere and come between the bodies with our minds and preconceived ideas. At the end of the day, it is ultimately the capacity to turn inward that plants in us the roots of our blissful experiences. Bliss and ecstasy do not arrive on demand, but will arise when we give up all mental goals or expectations and relax into a profound acceptance of the body and its inner polarity design. Using the body as a stepping-stone, we can experience the timelessness of the present moment, in which all boundaries evaporate and everything rests in pure peace and harmony. A Shift in Consciousness, Not a Special Technique Slow sex is definitely not some kind of special technique, as in a-b-c leads to x-y-z. It is not something that you do, but rather something that you become. You enter yourself so as to meet your own body from the

inside. Slowing down in sex is based on a shift in consciousness, where the emphasis is on how you do something, not what you do. To become slow in sex requires a mental reorientation, a new way of looking at it. You’ll first want to understand the why and the value of trying something new in order to drop or transform the ideas and expectations commonly associated with sex. Even with good intentions and a fresh orientation, the very first few times you meet you may feel at a bit of a loss as to how to begin. Perhaps you’ll even feel a bit confused. This is what happened to me at the outset. I also realized how strange it was that I felt very comfortable with sex when I had a specific and known routine, but as soon as any unknown element entered the picture, I got shaky and unsure of myself. I didn’t know who I was, really. When I was relatively unconscious I felt secure, but upon being asked to be a bit more conscious, I felt insecure and thrown into doubt. In reality, feeling confused or insecure is a very natural human response to many situations, so there is absolutely nothing wrong or unusual with any initial hesitation, shyness, or awkwardness. As much as we live in a society in which sex is very evident in advertising, media, and the like, when it comes down to the reality of this very moment and divesting ourselves of our protection (clothing, the masks of the personality), there can be challenges. You may also feel shy or exposed. But these are not such big hurdles that you need to hold yourself back or prevent yourself from being interested in exploring your higher potential. Confusion and lack of confidence make one feel more vulnerable, open, and present, so any feelings of awkwardness also have positive value. And when feelings are admitted and communicated to the other person in simple words, such as “I feel lost as though I don’t know anything anymore,” as if giving an inner weather report, then you will immediately feel more relaxed, at ease, and lighthearted. You are being more honest, more authentic, more human. You begin to trust yourself. You will find some more specific suggestions on how to begin later in this chapter. Slow Sex Is Most Suitable for Long-term Committed Relationships Our Creator designed human beings for slow sex, so in this sense slow sex is suitable and appropriate for